college, grief, and nature’s magic
We dropped off two of our children at college this summer. Wow.
I have heard older mothers speak about this transition as a complicated, emotional, and sometimes gut-wrenching experience. They were right, once again.
Our oldest chose a school that is close by, phew! At move in, he was looking visibly nervous and unsure about this whole thing until a roommate brought a mountain bike into the apartment and asked if anyone cared where he put it. My child lives for bikes and hadn’t quite figured out what to do with his own bikes yet, as they were still hanging on the car. The moment he saw the mountain bike, his face lit up with a spark of life and excitement that was truly heartwarming. My heart calmed as I saw him light up. As his mom, I’ve dedicated his whole life to nurturing and encouraging him, hoping to bring that same joyful smile to his face on a regular basis.
With our daughter, she moved a very bumpy 10 hours away. The same thing happened with her as it did with many of us in times of change. I saw her nerves getting the best of her until the fun and adventure of the new surroundings started picking up. She began to get swept away by the excitement of the vibrant culture that surrounded her. And just like that, it was time to say goodbye to the familiar and embrace the unknown.
So we did. We hugged tightly and went through all the heartfelt goodbyes we’ve shared so many times before, starting from those early moments at the church nursery, progressing through kindergarten, and continuing on to the middle school bus stop, all the way up until this very moment. We waved at her through the rearview mirror, sending hearts and blowing kisses as we all wiped our tears away, feeling the bittersweet weight of the moment.
On the way home from our busy move in day, I popped in the grocery store while my husband was gassing up the car. I found my way to the tea aisle, hoping to find something soothing. I could not find what I was looking for until I realized with a slight pang that they don’t make tea to heal a broken heart. After my husband finished gassing up, we were heading to camp for the night.
Nature knows how to hold our sadness in a gentle embrace.
We were camping near the magnificent Grand Tetons, and for just a moment, I forgot about my heavy heart. I basked in the rich tapestry of colors and layers of beauty that surrounded us.
This stunning landscape has existed here for a long time, and held countless sorrows of its own.
Grieving the transition of taking kids to college can be a complex and sometimes overwhelming experience for parents. As children embark on this new chapter, parents often confront a mix of pride and sadness, recognizing that a significant phase of their family life is changing. The empty spaces in the home, once filled with laughter and daily routines, can evoke feelings of loss and nostalgia. Parents may find themselves reflecting on the cherished memories of their children’s upbringing, grappling with the bittersweet reality that independence means letting go. This emotional journey highlights the need for open communication and self-care, allowing parents to process their feelings while supporting their children in this exciting new adventure.
That night after the big drop off, we settled in at our campsite a creek. I waded out into the river to feel the cold water rush by. I wasn’t trying to forget about how sad I was, I couldn’t do that. But somehow I felt like I could spread out my sadness into that stream. The stream could hold it. I felt stronger as we held all that sadness together. I felt connected and contained. I felt support that through shifting and changing some things stay the same.
I am still here and I have support.
Nature has a profound ability to support the grieving process, offering solace and a sense of connection to something greater. Of course you don’t need therapy to find healing power of nature. But, we use nature as a co-therapist to help individuals explore how spending time outdoors—whether through walking in a park, listening to the rustle of leaves, or observing the changing seasons—can foster healing. These natural experiences can serve as a reminder of life’s cycles, promoting reflection and acceptance. Engaging with the serenity of the natural world may help to ease feelings of isolation, providing a safe space to process grief and encouraging personal growth.
For those of you grieving changes, try spending time in nature. Here are some simple ways:
Listen to the birds sing for 5 minutes in the morning
Roll the window down to feel the breeze on a morning drive
Use cold water to wash your hands a little longer than normal
Stand with barefeet on the grass for 5 minutes