As the New Year begins, many of us are setting personal goals, but what about goals for our relationships? For couples, this season offers an opportunity to reflect on where you’ve been and where you want to go—together. After all, who needs another failed gym membership when you could be working on flexing your relationship muscles?

Every relationship has its challenges. Over time, old patterns can create cracks in the foundation of even the strongest partnerships. But these cracks don’t mean the relationship is broken; they’re simply an invitation to rebuild—kind of like upgrading from a rickety treehouse to a luxury cabin.

If religion builds the holiday frame and the patriarchy loads it onto our shoulders, capitalism drapes it in shiny tinsel and screams, “Spend your way to joy!” This season isn’t just a time for connection—it’s capitalism’s main event, a whirlwind of consumption wrapped in a big red bow. And the message is clear: you can’t have a magical holiday without buying it.

If religion sets the stage for holiday expectations, the patriarchy casts women as the lead performers—tasked with creating, sustaining, and perfecting the magic of the season. It’s an unspoken truth: while everyone enjoys the warmth and wonder of the holidays, it’s often women who shoulder the invisible labor that makes it all possible.

The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, peace, and celebration. For many of us, though, they carry a heavy weight—especially when our relationship with religion is complicated or changing. Faith traditions are deeply embedded in the season, from the songs we sing to the rituals we’re expected to perform. And while those traditions can offer comfort and meaning, they can also feel stifling when the experience no longer aligns with who we are.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, resentful, or just plain tired of the holiday hustle, this series is for you. Let’s question the expectations, reclaim what feels real, and redefine this season together.

For years, I lived disconnected from both breath and body. I was surviving—sometimes barely, sometimes doing pretty good!—caught in the whirlwind of stress and overwhelm, unaware that I was holding my breath and ignoring my body’s quiet calls for attention.

Everything changed when I began to listen.

By aligning your plans with your natural energy ebbs and flows, you can better manage your time and commitments. For example:

• During High Energy Phases: Schedule more social gatherings or tackle bigger tasks, like holiday shopping or decorating.

• During Low Energy Phases: Focus on self-care activities, such as reading by the fire or enjoying quiet family time, rather than overextending yourself with multiple commitments.

Whether the election has you feeling a bit deflated or totally energized, here’s a little reminder: our 'best' isn’t just how we show up on our brightest, most put-together days. With the busy holiday season and the strong emotional currents stirred up by this time of year, it’s more important than ever to set gentle bounds for ourselves—those steadying limits that keep us grounded and moving forward, no matter what. So let’s explore how defining these personal boundaries can support us through the highs, the lows, and everything in between.

As the calendar flips to November, the holiday season looms ahead like a festive freight train. You know it’s coming—the twinkling lights, the holiday music that seems to start playing before you’ve even finished your pumpkin spice latte, and the endless lists of things to do.

Instead of feeling overwhelmed by seasonal demands, consider a different approach: embracing a Minimum Standard of Care (MSC). By setting the bar low and focusing on what truly matters, you can foster a season filled with ease and balance for yourself and your household.

As I turn 45 this week, I realize something significant—I've now spent more of my life with my husband Peter than without him. That feels like a major milestone. Over the years, we've faced more than our share of conflict, and we've grown through every bit of it. While some days feel like smooth sailing, others feel like navigating a wildfire. But the beauty in our relationship isn’t about avoiding the flames—it’s about learning how to manage them together.

In today’s world, many of us experience anxiety, depression, trauma, or relationship challenges. These struggles affect not only our minds but also our bodies. Somatic therapy is a holistic approach that bridges this connection, helping us heal by tuning into the body’s sensations and physical responses.

We dropped off two of our children at college this summer. Wow.

I have heard older mothers speak about this transition as a complicated, emotional, and sometimes gut-wrenching experience. They were right, once again.

Well, life has given me more than one embarrassing chance lately to thoughtfully consider my boundaries.

Spiritual Bypassing: Part 2

Spiritual Bypassing: Part 1

Welcome to A New Way.